THE ELDERLY IN THE CHURCH - Chapter 16 from The Life of Ezra Taft Benson

"May these golden years be your very best years as you fully live and love and serve. And God bless those who minister to your needs - your family, your friends, and your fellow Church members and leaders."

Today we learned more about the elderly members of the Church under the guidance of Sister Andrea Buchan.

The preface or foreword of this chapter gives valuable insight about President Benson - his thoughts and accomplishments in his senior years. 

"Ezra Taft Benson was 86 years old when he became President of the Church". (I think I may be fortunate to be able to tie my own shoes when I am that age!) "He understood the joys and challenges that come during the later years of life." One of his greatest joys was continued association with his wife, Flora. They enjoyed spending time with each other and attended the temple together nearly every Friday morning. In their senior years President and Sister Benson loved spending time with their children and grandchildren. One granddaughter who lived with them for a time, told of seeing them together at home, their dates to the ice cream parlor, sitting on the couch holding hands and reminiscing, singing and laughing. What a great legacy to leave your grandchildren.

Their grandchildren also realized what a blessing it was to receive counsel and have the influence of their wise and loving grandparents.

President Benson's address for general conference immediately following his 90th birthday was directed "to the elderly in the Church and to their families and to those who minister to their needs."  His introduction expressed the personal connection he had with the topic when he said, "I hold special feelings for the elderly - for this marvelous group of men and women. I feel that in some measure I understand them, for I am one of them."

Sister Buchan read a portion of an article in LDSLiving, on the Internet, that puts being elderly into perspective.

"Being elderly puts you into a unique position in life. Everyone is young at some point, but not everyone becomes elderly. When we are young we understand what it is like to be young. When we are middle-aged, we understand what it is like to be young, as well as middle-aged. But when we are young, or when we are middle-aged, we have no comprehension as to what it is like to be elderly. We only seem to be able to understand (speaking in general terms) what is behind us, not ahead of us."

This article goes on to point out that when President Benson speaks about the elderly, those who are elderly pay attention. Those who are younger often do not because the subject doesn't apply to them - yet. In the home, children are taught how to respect their siblings and how to show respect to their parents. Parents have the obligation to teach their children how to respect and treat the elderly, as well.

Early exposure as children to elderly family members is valuable experience for them to develop appreciation and respect for the elderly. They will learn how to behave around them instead of being awkward or making rude and unkind comments about them. Parents should make every effort to teach their children that elderly people, particularly their grandparents have true worth. Parents are reminded that the respect their children are taught to show to their parents is no more than the respect their children will show them when they become elderly!

We spent some minutes talking about what a perfect example President Monson has been all his life in visiting, caring and expressing concern for the elderly. As a 22-year old bishop, he had 85 widows in his ward of 1000 members. He visited each and every one of those widows each month while a bishop and continued to do so until each of them had passed away. 

He learned from a childhood spent in a close-knit family to love and appreciate older family members and speaks of how the sweetest memories come from assisting and taking care of elderly parents and family members. We are all reminded that opportunities can come to us at any time in our lives to give service and share love with the elderly among us.

The Lord knows and loves the elderly and has bestowed many of His greatest responsibilities upon them.

The elderly have so much to offer in the way of history and life experiences. The Lord knows and loves the elderly and has bestowed many of His greatest responsibilities upon them. Throughout every dispensation prophets of the Lord were chosen in their advancing years to guide His people with their wisdom and the experience of age.

We can look back through the years of our dispensation and see that of those prophets who have been called of the Lord, many were called when they were in their seventies or eighties, or even older.

President Benson says, "We love you who are the elderly in the Church. You are the fastest-growing segment of our population in the world today as well as within the Church.

"Our desires are that your golden years will be wonderful and rewarding. We pray that you will feel the joy of a life well spent and one filled with fond memories and even greater expectations through Christ's atonement. We hope you will feel of the peace the Lord promised those who continue to strive to keep His commandments and follow His example. We hope your days are filled with things to do and ways in which you can render service to others who are not as fortunate as you. Older almost always means better, for your wealth of wisdom and experience can . . . expand and increase as you reach out to others."

We can make the most of our senior years.

There are eight areas suggested in this section which will help us to make the most of our senior years.

1.  Work in the temple and attend often. "We urge all who can to attend the temple frequently and accept calls to serve in the temple when health and strength and distance will permit. We rely on you to help in temple service."  One sister (I think Sister Buchan) reminisced that Sister Lula Bailey used to say the Church has built and prepared temples for the elderly instead of providing old folks homes. That got a good laugh!

2.  Collect and write family histories. The elderly members are called upon to "pursue vigorously, the gathering and writing of personal and family histories. In so many instances, you alone have within you the history, the memory of loved ones, the dates and events. In some situations, you are the family history."

3.  Become involved in missionary service. Increasingly, senior missionaries are needed in missionary service. Many times older members are able to perform missionary service in ways that our younger missionaries cannot. Most senior couples who participate in missionary service are blessed by being strengthened and revitalized.

4. Provide leadership by building family togetherness.  Senior members are urged to gather their families together, organize them and give leadership to family gatherings such as family reunions where fellowship and family heritage can be felt and learned. Establish and foster wonderful family traditions that will help establish a little bit of heaven on earth within individual families.

5. Accept and fulfill Church callings. All senior members who possibly can are urged to accept callings in the Church. We need the counsel and influence of those who have traveled so far on the pathway of life. Most of the organizations within the Church offer rich opportunities for senior members to lead out in faithful service in the Church.

6. Plan for your financial future.  As we move through the years toward retirement, we are encouraged to plan frugally for the years following full-time employment. We are admonished to avoid unnecessary debt and to be cautious about schemes and scams which could easily be disastrous to our retirement plan. "Plan your financial future early, then follow the plan."

7.  Render Christlike service.  Senior members are called upon to "thrust in their sickles in service to others. . . The Lord has promised that those who lose their lives serving others will find themselves. We are reminded that "Peace and joy and blessings will follow those who render service to others."

8. Stay physically fit, healthy and active. "Through keeping active, both the mind and the body function better."

Serving others helps heal those who have lost loved ones or who dread being alone.

Those who may have lost a spouse are urged to find an escape from feelings of uselessness and loneliness by serving others in need.

Some of the suggestions given are: quilting blankets for grandchildren, writing letters on birthdays, attending school and athletic events of grandchildren, compiling albums of pictures for each grandchild.

Many widows and widowers volunteer at hospitals or give of their time in service in other forms of community service.

"The way to feel better about your own situation is to improve someone else's circumstances."

In times of illness and pain, we can remain strong in attitude and spirit.

It is not always easy, but we should strive to remain strong in attitude and spirit. As Lehi said in 2 Nephi 2:2, "Thou knowest the greatness of God; and he shall consecrate thine afflictions for thy gain". He will do the same for us when we call upon Him.

President Benson, in speaking of the Presidency, assures us that they pray for the welfare of elderly members and for those who help and care for them. They pray that the elderly can continue to generate good thoughts and feelings in their hearts and minds and that they will continue to offer daily prayers. Alma 34:38 says, "Live in thanksgiving daily, for the many mercies and blessings which [God] doth bestow upon you". Reading scriptures, particularly the Book of Mormon daily will lift spirits, increase gospel knowledge and help you draw closer to the Savior.

It is important that families give their elderly parents and grandparents the love, care, and respect they deserve.

In speaking directly to the families of the elderly, President Benson quoted from Psalms 71:9, "Cast me not off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength faileth."

Families are encouraged to give their elderly parents and grandparents the love, care, and attention they deserve. The scriptures command that we must care for those of our own house lest we be found "worse than an infidel" (1 Timothy 5:8). 

Families need to remember that parents and grandparents are our responsibility to care for to the best of our ability. When the elderly have no family members to care for them, the priesthood and Relief Society leaders should make every effort to assist them in the same loving manner.

As is spoken in the Ten Commandments handed down to Moses, we are to "honour thy father and thy mother". This means we should have a high regard for them, love and appreciate them and be concerned about their happiness and well-being. We should always treat them with courtesy and consideration and try to understand their point of view.

Parents deserve our honor and respect for giving us the gift of life and for the countless sacrifices they made as they cared for and nurtured us through infancy and childhood. They provided us with the necessities of life and nursed us through illnesses and emotional stresses while we were growing up. Many parents have provided their children with opportunity for education and much of what we know and do we learned from their example. 

President Benson urges that we learn to be forgiving of our parents, who, "perhaps having made mistakes as they reared us, almost always did the best they knew how."

We ought to honor the elderly by allowing them freedom of choice and the opportunity for independence as long as possible. If parents are able to live and care for themselves as they advance in age, let them.  When they become less able to live independently, the family, Church and community resources are there to help them. If they become unable to care for themselves, care can be provided in the home of a family member when possible.

The role of caregiver is vital and there is great need for support and help to be given to these people, as well. 

Those who are blessed with a closeness to grandparents and other elderly people have a rich companionship and association.

Including the elderly in family activities whenever possible enriches the occasion and brings happiness to all involved.  Family dinners, family home evenings and other special events provide opportunities for teaching ways to honor, love, respect and care for those who are in their later years.

Grandparents can often spend valuable time with grandchildren reading books, telling stories and other enjoyable leisurely activities because their time is generally less encumbered with outside demands.  Children love and appreciate spending time with grandparents and develop a rewarding perspective of life from their association.

Church leaders should prayerfully seek the Spirit in helping members meet the needs of the elderly.

President Benson says, "We . . . urge priesthood leaders of the elderly to be sensitive to the Spirit of our Father in Heaven in assessing and meeting the spiritual, physical, emotional, and financial needs of the elderly." Melchizedek Priesthood leaders, Relief Society leaders, home teachers and visiting teachers are to be included in this great responsibility to fulfill duties to the elderly.

Whenever possible, callings should be extended to the elderly in areas where they can use their wisdom and counsel. Even those who are house-bound may have assignments to make telephone calls, write notes or other special duties.

Many older members can prepare to serve missions, participate in the temple extraction program - now called Family History Indexing - and assist with the welfare programs of the Church.

Elderly individuals and couples need sensitive and caring home teachers and visiting teachers to whom they can turn in times of emergency or need. 

The elderly should be included in stake and ward social activities and in compassionate service projects according to their abilities. We can assist them with transportation to and from Church meetings, shopping and medical appointments.

From President Benson:  "God bless the elderly in the Church. I love you with all my heart. I am one of you.

"You have so much to life for. May these golden years be your very best years as you fully live and love and serve. And God bless those who minister to your needs - your family, your friends, and your fellow Church members and leaders."

May we all live life to the fullest, no matter what our age or circumstance. May we render loving service to the elderly around us and provide support and relief to those who provide physical and emotional care to their elderly family members. Eventually, we all will grow to reach elderly status and may we then also benefit from the love and care and respect of others.

Your bloggess,

Karen